Tag Archives: hello neighbor

Celebrate the little things, because the little things are BIG

When you have a child for whom learning the ‘traditional’ way is not effective, you really begin to appreciate the little things that many parents of neurotypical kids (myself included) take for granted.  Both of my daughters have had little to no struggle with school, and have thrived in a bilingual program with the added intensity of a second language alongside the three ‘R’s’.  When Berrik was born the girls were already in preschool and kindergarten and were progressing along the typical trajectory developmentally and academically.  I assumed Berrik would be the same.  But as you know, his trajectory has been considerably different, with ups and downs that can likely only be fully understood by others who have a similar journey.  While I would give anything to remove the struggles that Berrik has endured, I am able to see the value in how it has created a resilient, empathetic little boy, and how it has reminded me that success comes in many forms.  For someone as naturally competitive as I am, you can imagine that this is both a necessary and important lesson for me.  One of the many these kids have provided me with over the years.

This week Berrik turned 10.  It’s hard to wrap my head around that number.  And the fact that he will soon be taller than me, which will leave me as the shortest member of our family as the girls have already surpassed me.  It’s been a fantastic week of celebration and success for my boy.  While these are things that many would take for granted in their 10 year old children, for us it’s a week of celebrating the little things, that are in fact so big that I get tears every time I think about them.

Let’s start with the birthday party.  Berrik has struggled with reading.  It has been nothing short of hours, days, months and years of multiple strategies to get this boy reading.  Sound Connections, homeschooling, my mom (I cannot emphasize how instrumental my mom has been on this reading journey), the best teachers in the best school for Berrik, daily reading, flash cards, sight words, phonics, and any trick I can think of to make reading enjoyable rather than a chore (incidentally, we are not there yet but I have hope that one day he will love to read like I do!)  But I digress.  At Berrik’s party as he opened his gifts he (without being told to) read every word on every card.  And he did this with relative ease.  Because he wanted to.  I think it may be the first time outside of reading instructions on video games that Berrik has voluntarily read a significant amount of text with very little help and no prompting.  This is such a huge step for him, and it’s these moments when I know that his potential is unlimited and the future will be bright.  I can say with honesty I had trouble imagining a day where he would do this voluntarily.  img_0413

One of Berrik’s gifts were two ‘lego-ish’ building set of Hello Neighbor – a bizarre nasty neighbor character that exists on youtube and video games.  He was excited to put it together.  For context, these sets have 90ish small pieces that go together in a specific order to create a little scene.  Just like lego, although technically not lego-brand.  Berrik was able to do this on his own by reading the directions and following them.  The dexterity required for this task was the most challenging – developmental coordination disorder means his fine motor skills are a bit delayed – but the following directions was not an issue.  This takes attention, and sequencing, and reading comprehension, and dexterity.  For kids like Berrik, these can all be difficult tasks individually, but having to manage all of that at the same time, and to start and finish the project, is big.  So big.  img_0466

In the moments where I lay awake at night wondering about the future for my kids, and especially for my sweet boy, these are the moments I need to hold on to.  They are the very clear signs that he can do anything and that with the support of this great big team we have, he will do whatever it is he wants to do.  Currently he would like to be an engineer like dad, a policeman/superhero, and also invent time travel.  Can’t wait to see which direction he goes with that! (I’m hoping for time travel).