That’s SO weird!

Justin Timberlake.jpeg

This guy.  Undeniably talented.  Clearly intelligent.  When I heard him make this speech I felt a bunch of emotions bubble to the surface.  The most prominent was gratefulness. Grateful that this guy with a voice and a huge audience of young people uses that voice to say things like he said.   Grateful for the acknowledgement that different is a good thing and that it can preclude greatness that is measured in your impact on people and the world.  Berrik has been called many things in his short life by people who are lacking in humanity and kids who learned this behavior from the world we all live in.  I’m sure he will be called things that cannot be said on TV also at some point (although to be fair, most of us will be!).

Ultimately though, the thing I am most grateful for is that Berrik is in a school where being ‘weird’ is the norm, and is celebrated as part of each kids’ individuality.  In a world where kids are all trying to fit in and be the same, it feels like an alternate universe to enter Berrik’s school and classroom.  No one asks him to be like anyone else.  The school team seeks to figure out who Berrik is and then celebrates his strengths AND his weaknesses.  Because when you step back for a moment and consider my sweet boy as a whole human being, he’s pretty darned amazing.  So if all the parts of him make up the fabulous sum of who he is, then can any of those parts be seen as negative?  Nope.  At least not at school.  It’s quite fascinating to be in the classroom with Berrik and his classmates.  It’s difficult to explain but you can feel it when you’re there.  So completely different than in his former school classroom.  Or the classrooms of my daughters over the years.  The best way I can think of to describe it is that the typical tensions related to who are the ‘smart’ kids and the ‘jocks’ and who fits into all the other ‘labels’ or ‘categories’ that are common in a regular public school, doesn’t seem to exist.  As his mom, it’s most noticeable to me in my own child.  Berrik is fully, authentically, unapologetically himself in this classroom.  He is free to be.  It doesn’t occur to him to worry about what people think because there seems to be so little judgement.  And when you don’t feel judged, I think it makes you less likely to judge others, so all the kids seem to be authentically themselves. Like I said, hard to describe.

Back in the days where Berrik was undergoing some assessments related to ADHD, the psychologist asked how we were managing at home.  I recall being a bit confused by the question.  While I recognize that many kids who are differently wired can have symptoms that result in or appear to be behavioural issues, this had never been an issue for Berrik.  And even though we have two neurotypical kids, it never really occurred to me to consider the impact of Berrik’s differently wired brain as something needing to be managed in a special way within the context of home.  Did he act the same as the girls? No.  But the girls act differently than each other also.  Berrik is just Berrik, just as Avi and McKenna are also their own people with sometimes surprisingly different ways of being from each other and from Berrik. We are just 5 people who are each very different from each other, but the sum of those parts is a pretty great little family.

How fortunate we are that our little ‘weirdo’ can live his life in this way.  It’s not that he gets to be unaware that he’s different from some of his peers, it’s that he has learned that different isn’t something negative, and in fact just might be the coolest thing about him.

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